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Know Your Lady’s Appetite

by Honey Ahmad Photography FriedChillies on Wed, March 25, 2009

Right, so you’ve decided you’re going to cook dinner for her. You’ve got the gadgets and the groceries. You’ve figured out the candles and the conversation. Now comes to the ‘what to cook?’ part. Well it really depends what you want the night to yield...

What better way to get to know someone than over dinner made from your own manly hands?

Girls have their own appetites and lusts. Some girls need time, others are more likely to grab you. But even the most modern of us girls still deep down inside like to be wooed and wowed. We appreciate a touch of finesse in seduction and a guy that can take his time but also understands the thrill of desire. Just like you lot, we don’t like to second guess either. And we all have to eat. So what better way than to get to know someone over dinner made from your own manly hands.

I want you for dessert
Okay, let’s be direct. You lust after this woman and you’ve changed your sheets. It’s pretty evident what this dinner is for. It’s red meat baby. Women who are as sexually charged as men go for substance to sink their teeth into. A perfect seduction meal would be steak, a good piece of rib-eye grilled medium and heady drinks. Remember though to go easy on the drinks, we want buzz not porcelain dreams. For dessert anything chocolate is good to go.

I want to protect you
Some girls like the homey feel. They like a guy who’s sensitive and can give them a sense of warmth and security. No, you don’t have to knit a jumper but roast chicken is the simplest road to comfort. She’ll feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you take out a sizzling, mouthwatering chook from the oven. Ooo… and mashed potatoes. However learn how to carve it or else it gets messy. To enhance this Jamie Oliver meets Martha Stewart vibe, a slice of pie (you can buy this) with ice cream to make her curl up with glee.

I understand you’re on a diet
Oh woe be it if your paramour’s on a diet. Or in a I-want-to-get-a-body-like-Eva-Mendes-or-bust mode. Actually a girl trying to get fit can be kinda fun because you know she has lots of energy for all kinds of shenanigans. Start with a fruity drink or smoothie to get her energized. Then a lightly grilled salmon and asparagus are perfect for a healthy protein fix. Save the sin for dessert and even then you can chill some tau fu fah or serve strawberries with a little light cream. However if she’s on a serious diet, it’s salad country. You can make a plain old salad delicious by just tossing in pieces of gilled chicken or prawns.

I’m totally laidback like you
These are cool chicks that you can actually shoot pool with. They like football, comics, sci-fi and techie stuff. They don’t mind if you talk for hours about your car. They are the delicious tomboys you fancy and these are chicks you can buy take-out or fast-food deliveries, grab a bunch of DVDs and just fool around the whole night long. Why not treat her with a homemade pizza or a nice fat burger? She’ll also dig barbecues. Best thing about this girl is you don’t have to go out of your comfort zone to make her happy. For dessert- ice cream served any way you like.

I get it, you don’t give out on the first date

On the other side of the spectrum you have the conservatives, the prim and proper ladies. They are also unfailingly polite. First of all they don’t think public farting and burping is adorable unlike the tomboys. Table setting is just as important as the food you serve. Spend some time creating a nice ambience and prepare unfussy foods that doesn’t require her to get too messy. Make some pasta she can spear easily, avoid gassy drinks, tapas and bread is good too. She would not feel compelled to finish things and if you get her to relax, you’ll find that this type of ladies can be a lot of fun when they loosen up.

I dig the great outdoors
The girl who loves walks and hiking. Why a picnic of course is the perfect date for her. Load up the car with sandwiches and nasi lemak bungkus and head to the park or the beach. Usually girls who enjoy the great outdoors have robust appetites too so you can also make lots of pit stops for goreng pisang, street snacks and fruits.

I adore girls who enjoy their food
My kind of girl. The passionate foodie. You can get a little adventurous in the kitchen for this lady. The world is her restaurant. She would love to try new things. Maybe you want to try that tagine you picked up in Morocco or that Mexican recipe you saw on the net. She will love something artisanal like a good cheese or limited edition belacan. Making your own bread will impress and if at the end you actually brew your own coffee, she’ll go nuts. Go wild and feed her like a queen because those who are passionate about their food are likely to be passionate in the sack too.

I also want to save the environment and hug trees
The new age girl can be a bit vexing but they can also be strangely kinky. If she’s into the environment, she might be a vegetarian as well which is a red-blooded male’s nightmare to cook for. If you find tofu a little too bland then make her a nice bean burger or stuffed mushrooms. If you can cook tempe, a sambal goreng is a delicious treat for veges. Under this category are also the yogis who usually love the complex flavours of Indian cuisine. Infact some of the best vegetarian food in the world is Indian. Make an aloo gobi or a lovely dhal for her. And if you can make your own chapatis kudos to you! These girls take pleasure in desserts so pull out all the stops here. Cakes… they love cakes.

I am an emo too
Emo and angst ridden girls don’t eat. This article is not for you.

I like ‘em spicy
Well since we live in Malaysia, local food is a huge part. And somehow it always impresses a girl more if a guy can make a great sambal belacan or sambal tumis or a killer assam laksa. If your lady loves her local food, learn up something from her hometown. Imagine being able to make a good CKT for a Penang chick or good chicken rice for a Johorean. She will want to keep you in her pocket and take you to faraway places. After dinner, keep with the theme, get some bubur cha cha going for dessert or search the town for kuihs that rarely make an appearance outside of Ramadhan. If you’re a perfectionist, you can make them too.

So take time to know your lady’s appetite. Food afterall is the most potent tool in your seduction arsenal. Eat well and love well guys!